The Wheel of Consent

So Tell Me What You Want What You Really Really Want

The Wheel of Consent

At the heart of Tantra is knowing and discovering our self and a key part of this journey is understanding our boundaries and exploring them so we can authentically consent at all times.


We chose the title of this workshop from the Spice Girls song “Wannabe” as it really gets to a key question we don’t often get asked and don’t always know the answer to! If we don’t really know what we want, then where does that leave us?

We will be working with Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent model. The thing we love about it is that whilst one can understand it at an intellectual level it is only when you experience it you really understand it. We both can truly say that using her Wheel has been life changing in all aspects of our life. Yes it was that powerful! So we are delighted that we have been able to work with her in devising this workshop.

In the touch/cuddle events that we run we support you to connect with your boundaries and consent helping to uncover what you truly want. In this workshop we encourage you to drop into this even deeper. Allowing you to firstly connect with the amazing sensory organ the hand is and then start to explore what our true preference is in both touching and being touched together with the dynamics of how we communicate this with others. In fact the most amazing thing about this work is how the medium of touch can be used to throw a spotlight on our relationship with everything and everyone around us. It can also give us an insight into the choices, which are sometimes subconscious, that we are making in these interactions.

In this workshop we will encourage you to explore why you may be one of life’s givers, always finding it easier to give rather than receive. Maybe you love receiving but find it hard to give? Again we will support you to explore this dynamic. Of course we usually can do both but it is common to have a preference for one or the other. At your pace we will facilitate you to explore both areas, allowing you to be more conscious of the choices you are making.

We will also connect with the aspects of allowing and taking. When we examine these together with giving and receiving, you can find yourself connecting with real life relationship dynamics. It is common that this dynamic can be confused, for example a friend may be giving you a back rub but for who’s benefit is it for? Is your friend taking or are you receiving? Have you ever been in a situation where you ended up doing something everyone else wanted only to discover no one wanted it? Have you ever feared going into situations because you don’t feel you have the boundaries in place to stop them going in an unwanted direction? This lack of clarity can pervade every aspect of our life often resulting in our needs not getting met. When this happens shadow methods for getting what we want can appear, leading to needs being met through, for example, stealth and manipulation. In this workshop we help you explore all of this in an open and safe way using platonic touch. You will get to:

  • Tap into the power of your own words to ask for what you want.
  • Improve your confidence and strengthen communication skills
  • Experiment with touch in a safe environment
  • Find out what dynamics of giving, receiving, taking and allowing are currently dominant for you
  • Learn how to balance this dynamic
  • Take giving and receiving apart so you can be clear what is which. (It’s amazing how easy it is to confuse the two. You will find out what they are, how each serves you, how they may challenge you, and how they enliven you. The experience may even challenge who you think you are in your relationships.)

This day workshop:

  • Is clothed.
  • Is experiential – you will have the opportunity to practice and explore. It is only in the experience of touch that it will make sense.
  • Respects your boundaries – you never have to touch or be touched by anyone or anywhere you don’t want to. In fact, you will be shown how to be clearer about that for yourself and learn tools that help you to express your boundaries.
  • Allows you start right where you are, whether you are new to the idea or wildly experienced, it doesn’t matter. Wherever you start, you will find a new level of awareness.
  • Gives you a game to take home that allows you to play with this within your boundaries which is fun and that you can make sensual, playful or any other quality you wish to bring to it.

So come and join us and find out, amongst other things, what you want, what you really, really want!

The doors will open at 9.30 am and the event will start at 10 am with an opportunity to meet your fellow participants over non-alcoholic drinks. Please bring some veggie food to share for lunch and we will provide drinks but you are welcome to bring your own if you wish. Also please bring a blanket.

For event dates and booking details see here